When thinking about pregnancy, we always seem to do most of the focus on the woman and the developing, soon to be born child. The man often gets left out of this picture. Although this blog may be a little unconventional based on the materials we have read this week and our discussions in class, I feel like the father needs to be brought into the picture more.In our reading Are Mother's Persons? by Susan Bordo she emphasizes how in many conversations about mother and fetus and that most of the focus is on the fetus itself. She even goes so far as to call them "super subjects" (p.88). Although she does mention men in this article, it is more their rule with the woman cannot make a decision for herself as in occurred in the court case Taft v. Taft (p.78). I want to use this blog to describe the man's role during the pregnancy and after the child is born.
Throughout a woman's pregnancy, although many will disagree with me, men will accompany their partner to prenatal appointments, help them through cravings and mood swings, and drive when the woman goes into labor. Women can encounter very intense feelings of depression and sadness while pregnant and their partner can really help to reassure them that everything is going to be okay and their beautiful child will be here soon. This may sound incredibly cheesy, but I think it is important to remember that the male in the relationship of a pregnant couple also has a large responsibility of helping the woman through the pregnancy so that both his partner and soon to be child remain healthy through the entire pregnancy.
After the child is born, the woman's place of employment will give her a paid maternity leave so that she can be home with her baby. But how many businesses give the father a paternity leave? The answer is not many. A woman is giving maternity leave so that she can take care of her newborn child and not have to be distracted with the stress of work, but what if the father wants to spend those first few precious months with his child too? Many people may think that how can both parents take a leave and still be able to pay for their newborn and all of the new financial concerns that accompany a baby...well I do not have the answer for that. What I will argue is that some people criticize how some men have a disconnect with their child and the mother has such a deep and passionate care for her baby. Maybe this separation between the child and its father is because of the lack of constant contact during those first crucial months of life.
I am not saying that the mother to child connection can be compared to a father spending an extended time with the child, but I think it would prove to many that it is important for the father to be there all the time with the child. I would like to continue this conversation and get other people's opinions on the topic of paternity leave......let me know what you think
I am a supporter of all parental leave, including paternity leave, rights. But I think the issue of paternity and maternity leave is a lot more complicated than people assume. I say this because I tried to do some research on maternity/paternity leave and got a vast amount of information. I have concluded that mothers are not given sufficient protective rights for job leave. Therefore, perhaps it is best to first address the shortcomings of the current maternal leaves in place or even to completely overhaul our conception of what parental leave is and should be.
ReplyDeleteAfter I read your post, Briana, I decided to search the web for some more information on maternity leave. I discovered that paid maternity leave is not guaranteed in the United States!
"While some companies do offer paid maternity leave, the law only covers mothers for 12 weeks of unpaid leave with guaranteed job security. This law, called the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA), however, does not secure jobs at smaller companies" – (http://www.pregnancy-info.net/maternity_leave.html)
So Briana, when you said in your post "the woman's place of employment will give her a paid maternity leave so that she can be home with her baby" isn't even true. The government only promises that mothers will have job security (though not pay) for up to 12 weeks. I believe this is problematic. Poor mothers might not be able to afford going without work for 12 weeks, so the guarantee of unpaid leave is really only beneficial to upper class, wealthy women.
Another concern I have is that pregnancy or giving birth allows someone to apply for short term disability benefits or use up their "sick days" of excused work absences. It does not upset me that these women are getting benefits from the state, rather I am wondering at the fact that pregnancy is considered a "disability." The very word "disability" seems to indicate an abnormal state. The reason I am examining linguistics so closely here is because maybe this goes to the heart of how society views parental leave. That is, that pregnancy is something to overcome and recover from, and is not something that can be expected to happen in one’s life. Granted child birth can have its effects on the body, but I happen to think pregnancy should be put into a different category.
At the same time, I could go back to Garland-Thomas's book "Staring" in which she says we are all only temporarily able-bodied and we will all become "disabled" at one point in our lives. But maybe the problem with parental leave is that it is too closely tied to the physical and bodily. Perhaps, as you suggest Briana, there is an emotional bond with the newborn child that is a crucial aspect to develop during the time of parental leave.
Breaking away from the sole reason of a needed physical recovery time after birth is also vital in recognizing the rights to parental leave of individuals who adopt children (thus, not actually going through the physical strain of birthing a baby).
This is especially true when considering homosexual male couples who adopt. Neither of them has given birth, and neither one of them is a mother, meaning they are not entitled to maternity leave. In this instance the importance of paternity leave as a guaranteed right comes up.
I guess my point is that as a whole people aren't looking at parental leave in the correct way. Maternity leave (as well as paternity leave) from my observation seems to be seen as assistance/welfare/awards but not something that is necessary for a mother or father to have. If parental leave could be regarded in the light of time needed to care and establish a relationship with the newborn infant by the parents, paternity and maternity leave might always be guaranteed. I think parental leave should be a right of all US citizens, both male (fathers) and female (mothers), just as the right to reproduce is regarded as a fundamental right
I think you pose a very interesting question here about your concern regarding paternal leave. I think the right for women to take maternity leave, although it benefits them, does reinforce the pre-destined obligation women hold to child rearing. I believe your question proposes an example to the systematic ways that our society tends to enforce that the woman has the proper experience or duty in nurturing the child, and yet she should be the one to hold such a close relationship with the child. This also pushes me not fault the man so much with the disconnect between a man and his child, that he too has an pre-destined obligaiton toward how involved he is n nurturing the child, or else he is deemed something signifigantly different than the manly, bread winner of his family. Often times in my conversation about a mans involvement in nurturing or taking care of a baby, i usually fault the man and think that its his own fault, but just as the women is pushed into taking such responsibility in raising a child and nursing her child, a man has been forced into obligations as well which lend him little or better yet a restricted relationship and invlovement with nursing his child.
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