Product of Stereotypes

I remember the first time I encountered a transsexual. It was in a restaurant in New York City, I was maybe about ten years old, and he (or she) was our waiter. I was confused initially by who (or what) was serving us, whether I should refer to him as our waiter or waitress.

"It's a boy, hun, but he's dressed a little differently than normal," my mom said, sheltering me from a truth I had yet to fully understand.

In my ten year old body, I felt afraid, and more than a little uncomfortable by the person serving my hamburger and fries. Was this some unknown creature, hidden from the light of day? Or should I go ahead and adhere to my mother's description of him (which is what I did ultimately)?

During my freshman year of college, I worked with someone at a thrift store who must have been gay (I assumed) because he spoke in a flamboyant voice and wore women's clothing. Two earrings draped from each of his ear lobes, long, elaborate crystal-like accessories. I had been around the theater kids in high school, I had seen and hung out with homosexuals growing up, so I had no problem socializing, getting to know him, and reserved no judgement about his appearance. He was interesting, and interesting-looking, to say the least, but the way he acted and dressed never bothered me too much like it may have with other people.

But now, after our discussions regarding transsexuals have lapsed further on, I've begun to wonder if these people are gay, or if they are straight and just prefer to dress more feminine-like. We spoke a little about this in small groups, how to differentiate between a transsexual and a transgender person, and if that defines their sexuality - but nothing is definite one way or another.

We have these cultural norms concreted for us, that because a man looks and acts like a woman, that he must be gay. Why can't a straight person dress like a woman? It's an interesting question, but one which, to many, seems straight forward and rather obvious. If a man wears female attire, then he is gay. Period.

It's cultural stereotypes which really drive home these points and become ingrained in our conscious, even though they can be miles from the truth. I have a perception - one entrenched in cultural stereotypes - that this person must be gay because he dresses a certain way - but that could be completely wrong. The transvestite who was waiting on my family that night in New York, he might not, actually, be gay.

But how would a woman react to a man like this? Would she sleep with him? Probably not -- and this is the source of these stereotypes. Stereotypes are at least partially grounded in truth - they all come from somewhere, right? And therefore it is something intrinsic in the way we act, in the way sex defines us and our most basic humanity which correlates to who we are and how we behave.

A conversation arose recently in another class devolving around the idea that it is more or less foreign to see a man sewing. My immediate reaction was that if a man enjoys sewing, then he must be gay. That's my perception of the issue, because I am ignorant, and my insights are a product of gender stereotypes spelled in our culture. But then again, everyone is for the most part, too.